Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Wine Review: Sagrantine of Mount Falcon
This VINO TINTO is fucking nice.
It’s like something from the hill towns back home.1 Mama likes it. Beto likes it. Frankie would like it. And so would Charlie and others of good, refinati taste buddies.
You don’t need to be from back home to appreciate a good vine. You can ask my friend B.B. King of *nix sysadmin. He ain’t from here, and he likes it a lot.
There’s strength and CHARACTER inside the bottle and glass, not a waft of a flowery bouquet piece of shit that came outta the front end of a back-to-front cow from a no-name valley.
This is of MOUNT FALCON. SAGRANTINE.
Just read that fucking name up there. It relates to prey, to meat, to religiosi devotione and deep dark red hue. It also has the following written on the back:
Nessuna persona di Mount Falcon, o di suo distretto ardisca, o presuma delle uve proprie, o di altrui cogliere, né portare avanti le vendembie sopra tre graspi in pena di 5 soldi per qualsivoglia graspo.
Statuti di Mount Falcon, 1424
This basically means they’ll fucking shoot you if you go around peddling this wine for less than it’s worth. So don’t even think about it.
There’s fucking sulfites, too. Which sometimes give Jimmy a headache, but that’s not SAGRANTINO’s fault. You gotta take things in MODERATION in life, most of the time, to keep your body fit and healthy.
This vino is not good—it’s fucking great. Jimmy’s enjoying a glass right now, and you should too. Jimmy hopes you have good taste.
Muah!
1 Hey. Guess what? It is.